


You. Blew. Up. The. Moon!

by Somecallmemichelle



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Canon Compliant, Crack Fic, Gen, Ki - Freeform, Science, The Moon - Freeform, weighted clothes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 15:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9241415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somecallmemichelle/pseuds/Somecallmemichelle
Summary: Bulma argues that Piccolo being able to blow up the moon is, at best, scientically improbable, Tien steals some cake, Yamcha can't quite get over how cool that is.Crack Fic.





	

“Wait...so what happepned to the moon, really? It’s not there anymore, I think...unless you count the stars as forming a moon constellation, or something, but really, those shine for me, and not for anyone else”

 

Bulma replied to Yamcha’s inquiry with an annoyed look. And a scientifical explanation that went on for far too long, in fact Yamcha almost fell asleep.   
  
“Actually the stars are always shining, though some might have long since stopped shining, they only seem to glimmer to to refraction on the athmosphere. Of course we have to take into consideration the fact that even at the speed of light...the fastest speed there is, they’d take several thousands of years to arrive us…”

  
And so on, she was in full on rambling sciency words that she probably understood, but none of the other reunited there understood, when Piccolo, who hadn’t said a word, grunted.

  
“It hardly seems like the speed of light is the fastest thing out there. I bet there are warriors who could beat its speed in their strikes.”   
  
Bulma looked even more annoyed if that was possible, her breasts perked up, as she stood up to yell in Piccolo’s face.   
  
“It’s science, you can’t argue science!”

 

“I saw a boy turn into a giant ape yesterday, which, incidentally answers your question Yamcha, I blew the moon up, how does science explain that?”

 

Bulma looked defeated, deflated, though she recalled Goku had done much the same thing, she was formulating some sort of answer when Yamcha dropped his fork from his hand, the cake he had been eyeing forgotten.   
  
“You blew up the moon!”

 

Bulma gave him the stink eye.   
  
“Manners, Yamcha, either way, he probably just hid it from view, as you remember, of course, he could have just cut the tail of whatever boy turned into an ape, probably Gohan…”   
  
“But that was like 85 issues ago or something!” - Puar said, everyone looking confused at what the “issue” thing was.

 

“...Yes, anyway, the energy required to blow up the moon, would be gigantic, it’s probably impossible…” - Bulma didn’t enjoy not understanding something, and the constant mentions to issues Puar did sort of annoyed her. But then she could always count on science to be a constant. The laws of psychics wouldn’t be altered, no matter what. That she could count on.

  
“I’m telling you I did it.” - Piccolo didn’t seem phased by Bulma’s disbelief. “It’s up to you if you want to believe it.”   
  
“Wait, seriously, you, blew up the moon! THE MOON!” - Yamcha was clearly stuck on the same point, the poor fella, but then he wasn’t the best at processing things. Specially things he could not understand.

 

“Yes. I did.”

 

“But the tides...the disasters that would cause! I’m sure we would have heard of it by now! You couldn’t have…”

 

“Actually I think I heard something about natural disasters this morning…” - Yamcha said out loud, mostly as  a thought to himself, but it was loud enough that Bulma heard it.

  
Her face twisted, she grimaced. 

 

“Ok, let’s say….hypothetically, you did manage to blow up the moon! Which is probably impossible! Why would you do such a thing?”   
  
“It was the easiest way to fix the problem I was presented with.”

 

“Yeah, he clearly didn’t have scissors at hand!! Or me!” - Puar said, her voice carrying its way through the entire room.

 

“So you destroy a celestial body, somehow, just because you had a problem?”

 

“Gohan, giant ape, what part of this aren’t you getting?” - Piccolo looked slightly exasperated at the blue haired woman’s insistence on the issue. It was done, why keep bringing it up?

 

“Goku could be quite powerful, I can’t imagine how strong Gohan might one day be” - Tien said, having just joined them. He didn’t even bother greeting them, he just sat, chiaoutzu floating besides him.

  
“YOU blew up the MOON!” - Yamcha said, clearly still quite not over it.

 

“Yes. Yes I did.” - Despite everything Piccolo’s little heart of satan, who rarely ever allowed him the simple joy of a smile had a thin streak of one on him.

 

“But...how the energy required…” - Bulma was awestruck.

  
“He blew up the moon!” - Everyone looked at Yamcha, which was banging on the same key, like it was the only one there.   
  


“First I took off my clothes.”   
  


Bulma looked embarrassed, blushing and avoiding staring at the harsh warrior’s eye of the green alien.

  
“Ok...I didn’t exactly need to know that…”

 

“No, no, not every single item. They are weighted clothes” 

 

Bulma’s mouth contorted on a perfect “O”, her lips wide open.

 

“That’s clever, cleverer than I would have thought 1”

 

Graciously  Piccolo choose to ignore the dig at his intelligence, she did try to compliment him, even if she had accidentally implied the opposite.

 

“Yes, then I fired a beam in the general direction of the moon, it flew at such speed that it destroyed it.”   
  
“But how did you cross the atmosphere? How did it maintain its focus through the cold space?”   
  
Piccolo stared at her blankly, it was clear he wasn’t going to answer.

  
“It was a beam…”

 

“But…”

 

“A beam, of concentrated energy…”   
  
“That doesn’t…”

 

“It worked.”   
  
“Hypothetically” - She pulled a calculator from one of her pockets and started making calculations. 

 

“See? There’s no way you could have blown up the moon!”   
  
Tien, who had taken Yamcha’s untouched cake, since he still muttered about the power needed to blow up the moon to himself, replied.

  
“I was out star gazing…” 

  
“I was with him”

 

Tien smiled, his features softening even if his body was muscled and built.

 

“Yes, I was with Chiaotzu, star gazing, because there has to be a balance in a warrior’s heart”   
  
“I just train” - Yamcha said, finally having gotten over the fact Piccolo had apparently blown up the celestial body, but still not realising his cake was now being eaten by Tien.

 

“Yes, well, everyone has their ways.” - Tien said, smart in his own way. - “And the moon flashed and disappeared, so yes, I do think he could have blown up the moon”

 

Piccolo nodded.   
  
“To stop Gohan.”

 

Bulma grinded her teeth together.

 

“But that doesn’t make any sense!”   
  
Yamcha spoke up   
  
“Speaking of it, where is Gohan?”

 

“I left him alone, to train.”

 

“You left a toddler alone, in a land filled with dinosaurs?”   
  
“I did…”   
  
“Shouldn’t you go check on him…?”   
  
“Probably.”

 

Piccolo moved to leave. Bulma’s hair was disheveled as she did calculations. Tonight she decided, she would check for the moon. Yamcha finally noticed his cake was absent, and the smirk in Tien’s face, Puar floated innocently, lower than Chiaotzu, who just looked at the scene.   
  
It was truly a great scene.

  
“

 

**Author's Note:**

> I feel nice today so I wrote some silly, cracky stuff. It's silly, doesn't make any sense, and it's arguably occ, but, It fits my mood today.


End file.
